transitions*

"Things do not change; we change." ~ Henry David Thoreau

i've been spending a lot of time lately planning for the high school graduation of my oldest child. the boy who was 5 years old and starting kindergarten just yesterday. he pretended to be a favorite cartoon character that day while we waited outside for his very first teacher to come collect her bunch of brand new students. he hopped all around and talked in a silly voice and then stood in line with his great big backpack strapped to his tiny body. and after a quick wave he followed his teacher into the school while i stood behind, teary eyed.

next week i will take harper to kindergarten registration. the boy who was a tiny, new baby in my arms just yesterday. some days he is excited and some days he is not. some days i am excited and some days i am not. we spend a lot of time talking about back packs and school supplies and making new friends and learning new things. 

one child finishing up and one just beginning. you simply cannot imagine the ups and downs and loop the loops of my mama heart.

esmé and i have appointments to get our hair cut this afternoon. in about one hour to be exact. bangs have been heavy on my mind this afternoon. yes to bangs, no to bangs? thick bangs, short bangs? 

i have a small urge to cut it all very, very short. it seems sort of appropriate.

*before haircut hair*

so, it is yes to bangs. i am sure of it. after photos tomorrow perhaps...

the night before...

everyone else has been sleeping sound for hours.

i am watching a documentary about religion, and pinning lovely things, and knitting and drinking the ice cold can of coke that has been hanging out in the very back of the fridge.

this is my birthday eve, big things planned for tomorrow. looking forward!

goodnight, friends! xo

{birthday candle photo from pinterest}

winter*hoop

 it snowed today. fi-nal-ly!

get outside and enjoy yourselves today, friends! xo

catching dreams*

busy dreams last night. a result of a busy mind, perhaps? one holding onto more concerns and worries than this mama recognizes?  

let's see, it started with an upsetting dream about parting with my baby carries, every last one of them. i was very sad and reluctantly handing them over to an unknown recipient. the truth is luca just doesn't love to be carried like harper did. i put him on my back when he is extra fussy and often he will sleep but other than that he would rather be free {and wild}. i haven't worn him a single time since he broke his arm. mostly because he is casted up over his elbow so i cannot bend his little arm to get it under the strap.

up next i was browsing around a children's consignment shop when the lady beside me lifted off a shelf the most beautiful blue-green le creuset dutch oven. that's right, at the second hand kid's store. she happily scurried up to the register and paid next to nothing for it while i pouted over tiny jeans and t-shirts.  

and the last dream i remember was about chicken pox, or the lack of pox, rather. three weeks ago my sweet local friend and her kiddos all came down with chicken pox. as soon as i heard i packed my boys into the car, stopped for a take and bake pizza for her family and headed over for a visit. we were at her house for 20 minutes in which time luca played with every toy in her house and with her 4 year old daughter who was covered with pox - bless her little heart. 

so here we sit 19 days later with no sign of chicken pox. esmé and niko have both been exposed and have not had them either. i was really looking forward to getting it over with especially with harper starting school next fall. now what to do? have their titers checked? consider the vaccine and boosters to protect them later in life. 

so friends, that was where my subconscious mind went while i rested. feel free to analyze away! i am sure some processing would be good for me but instead i am going to vacuum homemade granola off the living room rug {second time this morning} and then take my boys out thrifting. and who knows, maybe i will discover something amazing...

connecting, confessing and verbalizing change :: a vlog

abandoning self criticism and insecurities. this is my very first video blog. i am putting it all out there in an sincere effort to put it all behind me.

thank you for being here, friends.

xo, erika