...to be a mama, and today was definitely that day for me! esme' has been, to be honest, pretty bratty for a few days now. that on top of little harper getting into everything is exhausting by the end of the day.
we are out of absolutely everything and friday is our normal grocery shopping day but i decided that we'd better go get a few things so we don't starve. so as soon as niko came home from school and finished her homework i packed everyone up and we went to fred meyer. usually esme' loves freddy's playland so when i asked her if she'd like to go play for awhile and she said yes i thought it would be great for her to have some time to play... away from mama! we went over and signed her in and then she decided that she did not want to go in... then yes she did, then no, then yes... then after she said yes for the final time she wouldn't go in the door that the nice playland lady was holding open for her. so i told the nice lady (who knows us pretty well) that maybe it was just too late in the afternoon for her. the nice lady said yes, she sure didn't seem herself, and we walked away. then the screaming started because of course, she had yet again changed her mind and wanted to go to playland, but i was done with that game and calmly told her no, she would be shopping with us. she proceeded to SCREAM, so we went out by the shopping carts where i tried to talk to her and explain why she would not be going to playland. still screaming. and when i say screaming i mean SCREAMING... you know where everyone in the building stops and looks at you. so when it was very clear that she would not be calming down i decided shopping was out of the question. so now, she refuses to walk out of the store. so i, with harper in a baby carrier on my back, have to pick up my nearly 5 year old SCREAMING child and carry her out and to the car. i was shaking mad, but i drove us home, sent her to her room and spent the next 20 minutes sitting in the bathroom (the only place to be by yourself around here) listening to her cry in her room for her daddy. because he is the good guy... the nice parent... the one who works full time so it breaks his heart to have to disipline her when he is home.
anyway, the kids had soup and pb&j sandwiches for dinner (2nd night in a row) and esme' feels a little better after some hugs and kisses and being held for awhile. but i am SO looking forward to bedtime tonight! and i might have to switch grocery stores for a few weeks until they stop talking about the worst tantrum in history at our regular store.