the decision that divides us

the girl who did my pedicure on wednesday was really great company. she has a little boy and little girl the same ages as esme' and harper so that occupied our conversation for quite a while. we also talked about relationships, pregnancy and eventually birth. she mentioned that both of her children had been Cesarean births. she then asked if any of my births had been Cesarean. no, all 4 of my babies were vaginal births. then i said something that freaked her out. it made her look at me like i had a third eye. we suddenly lost the connection we had shared through most of my appointment. what did i say to cause this reaction... homebirth.

she clearly thought this was absolutely crazy! did i have a midwife there? yes. what if your baby became stuck or in trouble? then i would have transferred to the hospital. was there pain medication available? no. she had a few other questions and i could tell that she really thought this was an irresponsible choice.

before i left the house to get my pedicure a newly pregnant friend was here and she left with a stack of natural pregnancy and birth books and my copy of The Business of Being Born. she is planning an out of hospital birth and hoped that she could calm the worries of her husband and family. her mom wonders why she can't have a natural, intervention free birth in the hospital. after all, this was the hospital birth she had had. while it is true that many moms have wonderful, natural hospital births it is often a struggle from beginning to end. it is writing detailed birth plans and getting your OB to read and honor them. it is hoping you get a nurse who truly appreciates and supports your wishes. it is making sure your partner and family are ready to be your advocate and step in and speak up needed, which is usually not well received by hospital staff.

one of the most common questions i get from people is why? why did i choose to have my baby at home? so here is my response~ i had a healthy, low risk pregnancy. i made responsible decisions and a conscious effort to take care of my body while my baby was growing inside. i made educated and informed choices throughout my pregnancy regarding my care. i was going to give birth, quite possibly the hardest physical thing i would ever do. it would be emotional, raw, and beautiful. the last thing i wanted at this special time was the fight of my life to make sure i was heard and that my wishes were taken seriously. i wanted to remain here, in the comfort of our home to welcome our new, little one.

ultimately i had a hard, rewarding, long, messy, emotional, miraculous homebirth~ and i wouldn't change a thing!